food, mental health, Uncategorized

Depression feels like Pudding

Depression feels like pudding.

Thick, heavy pudding.

My body just feels like one gelatinous goop as I lay alone in bed on this empty Friday night.

Motionless, my muscles have failed me yet again.

My brain is mush and frozen on deciding what to do next.

…so I just lay there because I have to…

and the World feels silent as darkness creeps closer towards my door.

…hollow and meaningless my very existence becomes.

I forget how to smile,

I forget how to speak,

i forget how to cry,

numb to any thoughts, numb to any pain

there is so much suffering, yet none at all.

And I can only sense my Breathing

one breath after another,

after another.

up and down my chest goes.

ever so slowly…

up and down,

up and down.

It’s all I have at this very moment.

I think I’ll just hold onto that and call it my friend for tonight.

Jason

 

 

 

 

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